Change Your Answer

I've quite recently had a breakthrough in therapy. Nearly simultaneously, I've been considering the ramifications of a life lesson I've become somewhat respected for proposing to youth over the years.

Know Your Answer -- The idea that you should decide for yourself, before you're in the midst of a giant decision or risky situation, just how much is enough for you. Rather, determining ahead of time, what your limits are. This is especially critical during late childhood and teen years; a time when brain development becomes overrun by the hormones that fuel emotions where logic barely has a chance.

I've been bumping into a new idea, and I'd like to refer to it as lesson one in the coursework of adulthood. All previous lessons maintain their importance, but I think it's important to continue the education of life.

Sometimes in life, you come to a place and it's important and you think your only option would be the wrong one. You did everything right. You thought and you processed and you planned and you decided and you knew. You knew your answer.

You're tough. You can stick it out. You can make all the parts good enough if you just try harder. So you try harder. You manage and you sacrifice and you grow. But the thing doesn't grow with you. The thing accommodates for your sacrifice. The thing makes room for your effort. The thing doesn't engage with your effort. The thing drains you and pulls your future in a direction you never really envisioned.

It sometimes feels like wondering what it would be like if you could change your answer is a decent escape for a minute. Sometimes, that escape is tantalizing for 15 minutes. Eventually, your mind shuts it down. Because you know. You know that you decided. You knew your answer. Wasting time in "what may be" is wasted life.

But what if it isn't? What if growing requires a shift in the lessons from your youth? What if those lessons were good for a time? Great even? What happens if you find yourself in a place where knowing your answer keeps you stuck; a place that isn't a blessing or enriching. What if where you are isn't where you're actually supposed to be, and you're there just because of a stubborn conviction to stick to your guns because you knew your answer?

Guess what?

You can change your answer.